Cruel To Be Kind
by I Wish I Was A Dinosaur
Summary: She's dead. The after effects are devasting even after three years. Life as we knew it has been twisted has it not. Love is still alive though the heart ceases to beat. How can we survive without her? How can we survive with her ghost?
1. Anniversary

Just to clarify, Sakura is dead. That is all. Let the story tell itself. Disclaimer: I OWN THIS NOT. IF I did... things would happen... heheheheh..

* * *

It's been three years. Three years and yet the memory is still vivid. Three years and the memory stains my mind. Every now and then I can see blood on my hands. _Her _blood. I'm supposed to not feel a thing. We aren't supposed to feel anything about who we kill. But why _her_? Perhaps nostalgia, I used to believe that lie was it, but I've come to face it… The truth is _those_ people mean something to me. No matter how much I deny it. They were the closet thing to family… and the will be remembered that way unfortunately….

"You're so cool." Her airy laughter filled the air. Stop haunting me… I'm sorry…

She was mocking me now. It surprised me that her ghost would be so cruel. I never saw this side of her… I never saw her as a person…

* * *

Ino stood in the flower shop drumming her fingers on the table quite bored. "Okaa-san! I'm going to leave early." Ino pulled off her aprons and was out of the store before she got an answer. She stretched a bit as she walked out into the sunlight. It was a clear day with blue skies and mellow clouds blowing on by. She started walking towards Tenten house but stopped. 'She's on a mission with Neji-san…' Ino sighed as she leaned against a nearby building and sat down. "Trying to escape boredom, only to find more.. it sucks when everyone's on a mission…" Ino closed her eyes and slumped in depression.

"Oy!" said a voice form above. Ino looked up to see Shikamaru staring down at her. "Clouds are more interesting when your eyes are open."

"Shut up." Ino glared at him. "Aren't you going to offer a hand?"

"Do you want one?" Shikamaru said in a annoyed voice.

"Forget it lazy ass." Ino got up and dusted off her clothes. "What are you doing anyways? On a day like this you'd normally be staring at the clouds at your usual spot."

"Did you forget what day it is?"

"How could I? But, she'd never want anyone to cry over her. She did enough of that herself…" Ino's voice turned more serious. Her face looked sullen and somewhat depressed, yet a smile was still there.

"I was going to visit her grave before _he_ gets there, you know how he gets." Shikamaru said as the two headed towards the hero's monument.

"He's probably going to go at night. No matter how strong he tries to be, we all know he took it hardest." Ino said with a sympathetic voice. The two slowly reached the grave site and sighed looking at the name carved in there. Ino bent down and slowly traced the letters of the name. Shikamaru looked down at the monument watching Ino. His face had a solemn expression. They stayed there in silence for a good moment or so, before Ino stood up and stretched a bit.

"Done already?"

"Yep." Ino said with a smile. " 'Dwelling on someone with no regrets in death is foolish'." Ino said as if mimicking her. "She was so annoying that way… She thought about things way more than she let on…"

"Are you going to be okay?" Shikamaru asked warily.

"I'm fine… just nostalgic you know?" Ino smiled and started to walk away from the monument. "Coming?"

"Sure." Shikamaru hesitated and bowed respectively towards the monument and walked after Ino. The two walked in silence walking by the Ichiraku Ramen Shop. Just inside was a customer who hadn't eaten a bit of his ramen. It looked cold and untouched. His chopsticks were still together. He seemed to be looking out into nothingness that never would end. Next to him sat a girl with long black hair. She seemed to be at a loss of what to do. Her eyes seemed to flitter between the boy and somewhere distant. She put her hand hesitantly onto his shoulder. The boy didn't notice. He just sat there looking into the depths of nothingness.

"Naruto-kun… I'm sorry." She said in a soft whisper. Hinata lifted her hand and pushed back a strand of her hair nervously. She stared at him with caring eyes full of love. "Please forgive yourself." Tears brimmed at the edges of her eyes. A single tear fell from her eyes into the cup of cold ramen. The soft sound seemed to wake up just a bit. He blinked and looked up to see her crying.

"Hinata-san, why are you crying?" His voice sounded like a sad attempt to sound normal, but you could hear the deadness behind it. She didn't say a word. Tears just flew down her cheeks.

'Why is it? Why is it that you can't see she wanted you to be happy?' Hinata thought as the tears flew down slowly. 'Why is it you can't forget? Why is it you can't see me?' Hinata said as she sat there silently crying. Naruto stared at her helplessly.

* * *

When she haunts me, I see the scar I made on her, the one straight through the heart. Her laughter just seems to fill the air rejoicing at my pain.

"Ninja aren't allowed to feel. What's wrong with you?"

She taunts me. I wake up with cold sweat. It's strange though when I wake up, I don't feel any better. I just feel the emptiness. I've felt this before, but this time, it hurts. It hurts so much more. She makes me feel so alone.

* * *

Kabuto sat deep underground. His face somehow transformed into Orochimaru in a misshaped fashion. Just beyond him was a girl, her long hair dancing at the ground. She wore a simple sleeveless white gown. It had a slip at the top revealing just below her heart. It showed off a gruesome looking scar even though it had healed over. There was no expression on her face.

"With you, my plan is finally being set into motion." Kabuto had a dark grin on his face. "Orochimaru will be returned to his former glory and power through me." The girl didn't make a move, only stood there solemnly staring at him. He walked up and put his hands on her shoulder. "Revenge will be served." He laughed darkly. The girl seemed to look down at the ground with a saddened expression. 'So it begins.' She thought to herself.

* * *

There we are. If you are wondering who monologues in the beginning and end, if you think about it you'll get it, because I refuse to mention his name. I won't reveal how she died until very far in the near future. Please tell me what you think... I write so many stories that I never continue but this one has real substance so please review and tell me how it is. 


	2. Death Defying

Disclaimer: I DON"T OWN NARUTO OR THE CHARACTERS... or do i?... no no i don't.

* * *

The dreams became real life last night, at least I thought so. I hadn't fallen asleep or so I thought, but there she was. It was different though. She didn't wear her normal outfit, it was a strange sleeveless white dress with a slit showing the scar I gave her. Her hair was far longer than I'd ever seen on her. Her eyes had a piercing glare. It was as if all the teasing up until now was just building up to this point of hatred.

"Neh neh, Sasuke. It's like a ghost right?" She glared down at me and threw a kunai that was aimed next to my head. I closed my eyes to blink and, and she was gone from my eyes. Next to me lay a single kunai imbedded into my futon. It was real, but it can't be?

* * *

Dawn was just breaking and it was near five in the morning. The sun seemed to be rising slowly today. It was still a bit dark, but the rays were brightening slowly. Tsuande sat in her office in a daze. "Two of them lost forever. My circle of trust slowly begins to crumble…" Tsunade mumbled to herself as she stared out the window. Shizune stood just beyond her desk.

"I'm so sorry, Tsunade, but there is some bad news. It appears that Kabuto has slowly taken over Orochimaru's position. The subordinates are gathering. Our fears were correct."

"I understand."

"What choice of action should we take?" Shizune asked a little anxious.

"We'll wait for now. Do we know his location?"

"We have a lead."

"Send a team of ANBU after him, to watch. If he does anything, make sure we know. That's all for now." Tsunade said. Shizune left. She slumped down in her chair. 'Yesterday, I believe was the anniversary… of your death, Sakura…'

* * *

Naruto stood in front of her grave. There were flowers on her grave. His expression was dark and emotionless. There were bags underneath his eyes. His eyes kept staring at the grave as if trying to convince himself that this wasn't just a bad dream. Just then Hinata stumbled in with Kiba. The two were up early walking around a bit before leaving for their mission. Hinata's face turned sullen while Kiba remained emotionless.

"Did you wait here the whole night?" Hinata said as she put her hand on arm. He didn't seem to even realize she was here. She shook his arm a bit as if to wake him up. He slapped her arm away as a response without thinking. Naruto seemed to snap out of it as he looked at Hinata with a frightening expression.

"…" He didn't' speak a word. Hinata almost fell back. It was a look that she'd never seen before. His eyes looked so desperate.

"S-sorry…" Hinata said as she retreated from him.

"Are you okay?" Kiba said.

"Hai." Hinata said as she looked to the floor.

"What's wrong with you?" Kiba said as she pulled Hinata away from Naruto. Two walked towards the village gates.

"It hurts to see him in so much pain… sometimes I wish she never existed." Hinata said in a soft whisper, but the dark intent was still there. As soon as those words escaped her lips, she regretted them.

"It's always the quiet ones," said a voice from above in a tree. Immediately they recognized it, though they hadn't heard it in three long years. Just through the leaves, green eyes looked down at the condescendingly. "The deepest form of love is murder." She said in a mocking voice.

"You're dead." Kiba said as her chakra signature was so far different from Sakura's. He moved defensively in front of Hinata. She laughed almost scoffing at them. Her green eyes sharpened with a hatred in them.

"Since I'm dead, kill me." And with that the presence of Sakura disappeared. Kiba jumped up into the tree and looked around, but she was gone. It was like an illusion, but not. Hinata stood there completely lost for words. 'It can't be real…'

* * *

Naruto still stared at the grave solemnly. Suddenly someone stood behind the grave. His eyes were bleary from lack of sleep, so he didn't notice it at first. After a couple seconds, he noticed it. A splash of pink color was just behind the grave. Someone stood just beyond it staring at him. He looked up and rubbed his eyes amazed at what he saw. The girl took notice of this and smiled. Now with a clearer vision he saw the girl for who she was. Her emerald eyes glimmered and her pink hair had grown out, and her outfit showed off the final battle scars she had received before death. "Sa-sakura-chan?" He reached out to her, but she took a step back and ran towards the left into the forest.

His eyes couldn't believe what he saw, but it felt real. He ran after her heading into the forest. She made sharp turns every which way, but he stayed with her for the most part until finally when the two were in a thicket of trees. She stopped and turned around and faced him staring up at his eyes. He took a step closer, and she didn't move away from him. He came closer a desperate look to see if this illusion was real. "Sakura-chan? Is this really you?"

"…" She looked frustrated as though she wanted to tell him something but held it back. Finally he was within reaching distance and grabbed her arm pulling her into a big hug. A light pink flush flew across her cheeks as she hugged him back. 'Is this an illusion? It feels all too real. Her warmth. Her scent. Please don't let me wake from this dream.' Naruto thought as he held her tight for a long moment of silence. Though he couldn't see it, tears started to well up at her eyes, and as they pulled away from the hug she looked down to hide it.

"I don't understand. What happened?" Naruto pleaded. His eyes looked desperate as he grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. "I thought you died." Sakura still couldn't bear to look at his face. The tears were silently falling to the ground now.

"I'm so sorry…" Sakura said in a whisper. Naruto didn't even hear her. He hugged her again, but this time Sakura didn't hug him back. She stood there like a stone.

"Naruto…" Sakura seemed to want to say more, but held it back once more. 'She even sounds the same…' Naruto pulled back from the hug and looked down at her.

"Sakura, I don't understand…" Sakura still didn't look at him. 'I shouldn't be here…' Sakura bit down on her lip and back away from Naruto. She looked up at him with a teary eyed face.

"I'm no good…" Sakura said plainly as she closed her eyes disappeared into a thousand cherry blossoms. Naruto reached out to catch her, but only found a fistful of cherry blossoms. He fell to the ground with an emotionless expression. 'Please don't tell me… it was all an illusion…' A steady stream of tears flew down his cheeks. Though he knew it was his mind playing tricks on him, he still held a flame of hope in his heart. Sakura was somehow alive, and he intended to find her and to keep her safe.

* * *

I stayed locked up in my room that day almost expecting her to come back for the kunai I was sure she'd left behind. Were my delusions so bad that I was forcing myself to believe she was still alive? It was impossible… no, that is not what my head told me… It was not probable fit better… but then my heart told me, why would she want to come back?

"Neh, since when do you doubt yourself?" she said to me. I looked at my window and she was there sitting on the outside of the window sill. I hadn't even noticed it. Her hair was still immeasurably long.

"Are you real?" I asked her, but she replied cryptically.

"Do you want me to be?" I wasn't sure how to answer it. We stayed in silence for a while. "That means no… You are still blind." And with that she disappeared once more. Illusions and reality… I'm starting to believe that they mix sometimes when you really need them to.

* * *

Their mental states are worse than I'd thought…

maybe it is just repercussions on the day of my death…

I'm not sure…

More than that, I'm scared…

they looked so willing…

so ready…

so ready to die in order to save

the dead…

so ready to join me in the afterlife…

My guilt flows ever cessantly.

Forgive my barging in… I will not stay long…

* * *

That night I didn't sleep. How could I? She was in my window staring at me the whole time. I really didn't care if it was an illusion or not… Her company was nice and for those few moments I felt as though she were alive and still with me. It was comforting that even in death I was still the most important person to her… Maybe I'm self comforting myself? I don't care… All I know is… with her here, the emptiness I feel is gone… I wish she was real… I truly wish I could believe this wasn't an illusion.

"Am I still dead?"

She said in a teasing voice. My voice ached to tell her, but my pride kept me from even telling my own illusion. She seemed disappointed and in a flutter of cherry blossom petals disappeared from my window. Please don't go…

* * *

In case you didn't realize it. Yes I change the point of view often. But you hopefully you can tell the differences in the way I write them. If not I will write so and so's POV though I don't want to. So yeah. Tell me what you think. 


	3. The Dead's View On Life

Disclaimer: I don't own this... I don't

* * *

That night still haunts me. I should have been dead… Why aren't I? These thoughts still consume me.

_'Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe…. Why am I still alive?' Sakura sat in a tub of sorts. It was vertical and filled with a greenish liquid. There was a monitor checking her vitals at the bottom of it. An oxygen tank was attached to the side connecting to an oxygen mask over her mouth. This tube was only one in a row of eighteen. There looked to be hundreds of rows each one with faces becoming more defined as weeks went by. Her eyes slowly opened in a hazy vision. 'Where am I?' She closed her eyes but tried her best to listen to her surroundings. 'It feels like I'm floating… ah… someone is coming…'_

_"It's as I thought. It works best when you have a piece of them to bind their souls to." The man said as he was obviously standing in front of her tube. Sakura opened her eyes a bit to get a glimpse at the man in front of her._

_'This voice… I've heard it… I hate it…' She opened her eyes stinging them a bit in the process and stared at the man in front of her. 'Orochimaru?... no…. Kabuto!' Sakura said as she tried to move her arms, but found that they were attached to ivs. He seemed to smirk as she struggled a bit. He started to laugh when suddenly a voice Sakura didn't recognize emerged._

_"Sensei! She's in pain what are you doing?" The boy looked about twelve and had blond hair and light purple eyes almost resembling blue. Sakura's eyes widened as she stared at the boy. Though her vision was hazy, his blond hair reminded her of something. Something she shouldn't feel pain about but did. Only one thought crossed her mind as she screamed._

_"NARUTO!" Using what little chakra she had she pulled off the ivs and broke through the glass. She fell to the ground blood on her fist. She stepped out severely tired as she stumbled towards Kabuto. Her vision was hazy and his figure was strange, but she knew it was him. 'Naruto-kun… Naruto-kun… Naruto-kun…' The boy with the blonde hair seemed to be in shock She managed to put her hands around his neck. A smile found it's way to her lips. "If there's one thing I can do in death is take you to hell with me." Sakura tried to tighten her grip, but found that she couldn't. "Nani ka?!" Kabuto just smiled. Sakura's vision was getting hazy again and all of her strength left her. She fell to the floor unable to move._

_"Wondering what's going on Sakura-chan?" He said in a laugh. He kicked her and Sakura just laid there confused. 'I can't feel it…' "That look of shock on your face is priceless. Did you really think I'd revive one of my enemies without putting some security. How foolish." He laughed again. The boy seemed very concerned and bent down over the girl._

_"Sensei, isn't this a bit harsh? She's the first experiment to survive and have her own mind. Shouldn't we test out the capabilities and save them for later on other projects…." The boy sounded nervous and stared at Sakura with a slight blush. Kabuto seemed to be laughing even harder. He pushed the boy down next to Sakura._

_"You seem to think your opinion matters to me. Or didn't you know, you are my first experiment?" Kabuto seemed to be laughing hysterically. "You've been here for three years and never aged. I can't believe how stupid you are." Kabuto grabbed a shard of shattered glass too fast for the young boy who never experienced a ninja before. He stabbed the boy in his forehead. "You're expendable." Tears flew down Sakura's cheeks as she merely watched and heard it. Kabuto reached down and pulled up Sakura whose body was still not responding. He laughed._

_"Sakura-chan, you can't fight me. All of this body is not your original. For a time my dear, you were dead. Aren't you glad I brought you back?" Kabuto laughed. Sakura just looked away from him anger burning in her. "I tweaked with your genes though, you can't feel pain. So get used to it." Kabuto laughed as he dropped her to the ground. 'When I get my strength back, I'll kill you jackass…' Kabuto looked back at her. "If you think you can kill me, don't think I am so foolish as to let my own experiment cause any damage."_

_"Kuso…." Sakura thought as she tried to move but couldn't. She looked up at the tubes and screamed. In the tubes though they weren't fully done was a piece of someone she knew. The tube next to where she was originally was Sakura herself… "What in the hell is he doing?!?"_

"Ah!" He screamed and sat up there was a cold sweat running down his face. I was sitting on his window sill as I have been found doing every night it seems.

"Bad dream?" I couldn't help but laugh at his helplessness. The way he had treated me, yet I still loved him enough to be around him whenever I have the chance in this afterlife of mine.

"I thought you were dead for a minute…" He said to me as he walked up to the window and pulled me into his room. "You feel so warm, do you know that?" He pulled me close and we stayed like that for a moment. If I were alive, I would have enjoyed this moment so much, but alas, I feel nothing of the sort. He pulled back and turned to face me. The sun slowly started to rise and a faint glow seemed to be entering the room. The question was burning in his eyes, and it seems he's getting closer to what I've always known. What we've always known. "Are you real?" He whispered in my ear. Was he always this dense. I wish I knew if I were crying or not or if he was wiping my tears when his hand looked like it was on my face.

"Baka." It was all I could manage to say. I can see it in your eyes. It's obvious why you have nightmares. It's so plainly obvious I want to shout it out, but you'll never admit it. You're too good for that aren't you? Your pride won't let you. You're far too good to admit to even someone you think is an illusion. Why won't you just admit it already? It hurts to see you hurt. It hurts so much, and the longer you are gone… the more it hurts… _him_…. He stared at me in silence as the final rays of sunlight appeared. He looked extremely desperate and I could read it. Why can't you say it? I don't want you to go... If you only spoke these words, they would be enough… He seemed to have his hand on my cheek again. I couldn't feel it. It was now time, the sun was fully seen and I did it. I ripped the piece of paper that would automatically send me back to Kabuto's hide out.

* * *

"Have fun playing mind games, my dearest Sakura-chan?" He said with a dark laugh. I wish I was dead… that way I would never have to realize it… I would have never wanted to come back to life and lived torturing them… I would have never realized that I wasn't forgotten… I would never have wanted to take them back with me… I would have never become this selfish as to want to live again… I should have been dead. I hate you. I hate me. I hate life.

* * *

A single tear flew down her cheek though she knew it not. Those words would sting _him_…. No it would sting _them_. Love is a trifle thing. If you're not careful, you'll fall in love with the worst person, one who loves another. And if you're truly careless, they'll love you back. If love like that happens, all you can hope is that the love you feel for them is stronger than their other lover.

"Naruto-kun… Forget her…." She cries aloud.

"Hinata-chan… see me." He never speaks.

"Sakura…I'm sorry…" He dies inside.

'Sakura… I love you.' He utters not.

"I wish to die." She moans.

"_**I Love You."**_ They all scream into the night.

* * *

This one was written completely in her voice. I like it that way though. This way you can see the pain. Review my dears 


	4. Words Are Knives

Disclaimer: You know the drill... I don't own the chars.

* * *

I decided to sleep during the day and wait for her at night. I can spend twelve hours with her. Feeling as though she's alive and with me. That illusion is so real that if it ends up to be fake… I don't know what I'll do.

"Most fairy tales don't exist, and the ones that do include death to get a happy ending." She told me once…. It scared me. Love scares me. Losing her again scares me even more. She kissed me on the cheek before disappearing. I don't want to lose her...

* * *

Kiba was running in the forests. Hinata was close behind him and Shino behind her. They seemed to be in a running formation. The mission was well along the way, yet Kiba and Hinata seemed to be more distracted than ever. Shino was keeping an extra lookout. 'How are they this distracted? What the hell happened?' Shino thought as he suddenly stopped. Hinata noticed this and stopped.

"Kiba-kun! Stop!" Hinata shouted but Kiba went on for a bit before even realizing she was calling him.

"What is it?" He shouted.

"There's someone over there." Shino pointed to the right.

"Enemy?" Kiba asked as his demeanor started to change.

"Not sure, their chakra signature is… strange very strange… I could swear there is something familiar about this chakra… The bugs recognize the scent as well. Should we check it out?" Hinata nodded and Kiba as well. Hinata closed and reopened them to reveal Byuukagen. What she saw was something shocking, for she took off like lightning and ran towards the person.

"What in the hell?" Kiba chased after her. "Hinata! We have to approach this as a team!!" Hinata stopped and looked back. Shino landed just as Hinata turned back to face them.

"I'm sorry but I need to see if it's real…" Hinata looked as though she was about to cry. Kiba and Shino did not quite understand.

"We'll back you up on the left and right perimeters." Kiba said. Shino nodded and the three took off. Hinata ran and ran. 'Please… don't… I thought it was only an illusion earlier… could it be?' Hinata broke through the trees and strangely enough there she was. Tears flew down her cheeks. In the middle of a thicket on a branch sat a girl. She seemed to be humming a tune… It was one of those children tunes that was actually about death. Hinata's lips quivered and she fell to her knees. Kiba entered on the scene and looked down.

"You're dead." Shino stood in the shadows staring down at her. 'Illusion? It couldn't be… my bugs have already surrounded her… A copy? No… this person bears the scars…It can't be her… we saw her buried….' Shino now understood why his teammates were so shaken up.

The girl looked up and stared at them. She smiled sweetly. Her bright green eyes dazzled them, and her long pink hair made her beauty seem ethereal. Her scarred body sat here starring at them. It was as if time had frozen this moment and saved it. She laughed. "Did you really think anyone was capable of making a illusion so cruel and out of character?" She laughed again mocking them. Hinata sat there crying. 'I'm stronger than this… why am I crying?'

"Sa-sakura…." Hinata mumbled. Sakura turned to face her. Sakura glared at her.

"How dare you call me by name, you who wishes I never existed." Suddenly she disappeared and reappeared right next to Hinata. Kiba and Shino got into aggressive positions. Sakura just laughed and stepped closer to Hinata who made the boys draw closer. "Cry a million tears for me like I did for Naruto…" She whispered in Hinata's ears. Hinata started to cry harder.

"What did you say to her?" Kiba growled. Sakura just seemed entertained by this.

"Why are you mad? It's not like she's crying about you." Sakura said. Her words were like knives stabbing them each in the heart, and she knew it. Later on, it would hurt her, but at the moment she felt nothing. Kiba staggered back, for her words had stabbed him in the back and twisted it.

"Kiba…" Shino said in a soft whisper, for it was true. After watching all of them for a while, Shino knew. It was obvious to him. Who loved who? Sakura smiled at Shino.

"Better pick up the pieces. They are going to break soon, and you can't do a thing about it." Sakura laughed as ran off somewhere in the distance. Shino would have tailed her or even sent a bug but he doubted it would help anything to find her. She'd slip away again. Only she could know how to kill someone from the inside out. How to make them want to die. Shino looked at Hinata who sat there with tears running down her cheeks, getting worse by the minutes. Kiba had run off like he always did. He could never figure out what to do. So Shino just put his hand on her shoulders. 'It sucks… that she is right…'

* * *

Naruto sat in her apartment staring at a picture. The lights were off, but the light shining through gave it light. He stared at it for a long time. It was their original team 7 picture. The memories were burned into it. His picture had tear stains all over it, and it looked rather faded, but Naruto could see it. He could see her smiling face, and the memories flooded into his mind. Worst of all, he could see the future in that picture as well. He saw visions of Sakura and him getting older and having kids and having a whole life ahead. He could see a beautiful baby boy in her arms with blonde hair and blue green eyes. He saw all that could have been, but now was lost. 'Was it really lost?' Naruto thought. 'That illusion was it real?' If there was a slim chance that she was alive, he was going to believe it. He wasn't going to let go. "Sakura. I'll find you."

She appeared in my window like always, but this time tears were running down her cheeks. Normally she would cry when she left. It made me feel as though her heart still belonged to me, though it was obvious it didn't. I mean the way she….. I still can't say it…. While she visits me every night I cannot say it… it never happened and I can finally spend time with her… These precious moments they cost me a night's rest, but she cost me my sanity so it's an even trade.

* * *

"Will you leave my side?" The question seemed to startle her. She stared up at me with her big green eyes.

"Have you decided?" I knew the answer she was searching for, and I wanted to badly to answer it, but I held my tongue. She continued to cry. Somehow it feels as though no matter how much I hold you… I'm never reaching you…. Sometimes I think she sees right through me and knows what could be if I only spoke up… I can't. I feel as though if I do, she'll finally leave me. Why do I make her cry more?

* * *

Sometimes I believe it is true. Sanity of this world disappears as someone leaves this world. We who want only to hold on to those who live… I hate them all, and yet I love them all the same. I know who I can not live without, and it's both of them. If only I could stop time, and hold their hands and never deal with the devil called fate.

_Close your eyes and I'll kiss you_

_Tomorrow I'll miss you_

Love is pain.

* * *

This is the fourth chapter. If you like my story, please review. If not, this'll remain as a four chapter story. Thank you. 


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